Arte Soleil

Return to Yourself

By Jessica Simpkins

There are some days, weeks, or months when every healthy routine I’ve painstakingly fostered into existence is eviscerated- it’s like a kind of amnesia.  How did all of these pieces ever fit together? And I get the sense that my world will fall apart between one breath and the next. Every facet of my existence is a question and I lose faith in my ability to judge the intentions of others- unable to judge my own reasoning or trust my intuition.

During these episodes I rely on mindless tasks and activities to keep me going through the motions of life until my sense of self is restored.  Unfortunately, writing a blog post is not a mindless activity.

I hope the following poem by John O’Donohue fills you with peace and reassures you during moments of sadness and bewilderment as it does me.  It inspired me to create the illustrations accompanying the piece.

For One Who Is Exhausted, a Blessing
By John O’Donohue

When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight.

The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.

Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.

The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.

You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken in the race of days.

At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.

You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.

Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.

Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.

Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.

Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.

Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.